How an auspitious day in Guatemala re-focused my future
It RE\started on a trip to Lake Atitlan…
It was on a Wednesday in March of 2019, the Spring equinox, a full moon, and that afternoon we had completed a cacao ceremony on the banks of Lake Atitlán. It’s an auspicious place, the vortex of Mama Atitlán; covered in gorgeous acres of water nestled in between three volcanoes. I was there to assist on a yoga retreat, helping the practitioners have a lovely experience and running around with my camera in hand. I had no idea that the devotion to this work trip would turn into one of the most pivotal moments of my entire human experience.
It was probably around 3 am when it happened, when the veil is at its thinnest. I remember the first vibrations of her tone hitting my eardrums, the beads of sweat building on the back of my neck, and the force my body used to sit straight up in the bed. It was pitch black. Despite the previous nights of constant wind, the air felt still. I went from a dead sleep to feeling wide awake in a nanosecond. My heart was racing... And yet when I looked around, there was no one there.
But I could feel her. I felt her to my right like she was sitting next to my bed in the chair situated in the corner of the room. I couldn’t see a face or human form, but I knew she was feminine energy. Once I processed that I was actually awake, I could sense that her presence wasn’t ominous. Her voice was mellow and smooth almost harmonious, flowing like molasses. Out of the darkness, her energy felt nurturing and kind and despite her abrupt presence making me feel petrified, I heard her say,
“Why do you harm yourself? Why do you choose not to love yourself?”
In the days and weeks after the events that unfolded this night, I began a new journey with my spirituality, intuitive ability, and healing gifts. I had always had a deep relationship with my spiritual practice, but it took on different shapes and forms over the course of my life. It wasn’t until months later when I explained the experience in Guatemala to my mother that I learned I was born with unique abilities, as was she and her mother. However, my mom feared our lineage so much she worked hard both when I was a child and as an adult to suppress it. She feared the possibility of dark arts at play and didn’t want to see a conflict with her religious beliefs. But I AM of the light. And I wanted to reclaim this power and gift, despite what anyone else thought of me.
With the support of my spiritual director at the time and my late mother, I was able to understand my ancestral lineage, and the gifts handed down to me through generations of powerful forms of Shamanism and Espiritismo practitioners. I learned that being a descendant of Taino, Spanish and African peoples wasn’t an accident and shaped the journey of working with others. I was able to recognize that through my photography and writing, my hands allowed me to share and support the gift of transformation and personal healing. And that those who walk a spiritual path tend to have a more difficult life. I have worked hard to reconcile those challenges.
It was revealed that my dharma in this lifetime would be to aid people who are open and willing (particularly women) - on their own quest for personal freedom and growth - namely through the vehicles of hands-on healing, intuitive coaching, cultivating community, and travel. I am a spiritualist. Through consistent inner healing work, I have created the potential for individuals to harness their own personal power on their path through life. A journey that must start from within and stays with you through life. Because wherever you go, there you are.
